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I live in the West Midlands in the UK and have done so for my entire life. I grew up in a house with just my parents, then lived in student accommodation, then moved back home. A couple of years ago I moved in with my partner. His parents had both passed away and he inherited the family home. Whilst it’s been a huge financial blessing (no rent! No mortgage!) its actually put quite a strain on our relationship. Essentially I’m living in someone else’s home. The phrase “get out of MY house” is shouted at me at some point during every argument that my partner and I have. Our relationship is very much one sided as a result.

Added to this, my partners parents were in their 60s when they died and had both been disabled. The house was pretty tired (understandably) and its taken FOREVER to sort out. My boyfriend is emotionally attached to literally every single item so we’ve had many, many arguments about why we should keep mismatched plates, a 20 year old kettle and or a red patterned carpet in the living room. We currently have a living room, dining room, kitchen, bedroom and back garden but the front garden, hall stairs and landing, back bedroom, box room and bathroom are a complete mess. It’s immensely depressing to walk into the house to be confronted with peeling wallpaper, chipped paintwork and an avocado bathroom. I’d love to get stuck in myself and I have done a lot to improve the overall appearance but as I said before, IT ISN’T MY HOUSE. I’m sure my boyfriend would go mental if he came home to find me making changes without his explicit knowledge and participation.

I have no idea how to make this situation change, short of nagging my partner to death or selling up.

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